[Video | Open to Both Courts]

[wipedclean]

[He looks slightly nervous. He still... doesn't do this talking thing well, and he doesn't really see the point of introducing himself to everyone. Making himself known to the entire network... showing his face on a recorded device... he's not supposed to, and it's just a bad idea for an assassin but...

But Steve said he should, so... well. He is.]

...hello.

[He swallows, his gaze flickering off to the side, where, unseen to the camera, Steve is nodding and giving him a thumbs up.]

I'm... Bucky.

[He hesitates when he says it, because... it's the first time he's said it. That he can remember.]

I was told I've been here before, but I don't remember.

[He frowns.]

So I'm sorry. If you knew me before. I don't remember you.

[He glances over to the side again, shifts, shakes his head. He's done, he doesn't want to do this anymore.]

That's it.

Comments

[wipedclean]

[He thinks about it, but there's not a word that comes to mind that describes how he feels kind of simultaneously like he's maybe taken a step but also done something incredibly wrong.]

I don't know.

[He's supposed to be a ghost. And he's just done the complete opposite of that.]

[starspangled]

Okay.

[But he's quick to continue.]

Really, it's okay if you don't know. This is all still really new.

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[He sighs and looks frustrated, because he is.]

And when does it stop being new?

[He feels fucking helpless and he hates it.]

[starspangled]

[Steve takes a deep breath, giving him an awkward smile along with his response.]

The feeling's starting to wear off for me, soo...around the six month mark?

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[He lets out another frustrated sigh, slumping back into the chair.]

I don't know what to do.

[starspangled]

Bucky. Look at me.

[Steve leans forward, voice soft but firm with the request, the instruction.]

None of this is your fault. And it probably won't get better overnight, but it will get better. I promise.

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[The command forces his gaze up, and he lets out a breath, because even if Steve didn't mean it that way, it almost feels like a relief to be told to do something with so much conviction.

He hates that it's the case.

He nods once, shifts in his seat. It... it helps a little.

But it would be better if he had something to do.]

Steve...

[starspangled]

[Steve watches him, his body language that says as much as his words do, especially when his words can't. He smiles a little when he says his name.]

Yeah?

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I need something to do.

[As nice as this, he can't just sit around all day. It's part of the reason why he paces around the building so much. He's bored, he's thinking too much... he can't handle this for much longer. He hasn't been without something to do for so long in... he can't remember. Hydra always put him on ice as soon as they were done with him. Right now he almost wishes he could do that again.]

[starspangled]

[Steve understands that feeling, probably better than anyone else could. How many hours has he spent punching a bag or running laps just because he didn't have anything else to do.]

We could play fetch with Straton. Maybe do a little cleaning. You could cook something - you always liked doing that before, but you made me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone.

[wipedclean]

[It's busy work. It's all busy work. But in the absence of a mission, it's better than nothing.

Though the comment about cooking confuses him a little.]

I did?

[starspangled]

Yeah, you did.

[Steve shrugs his shoulders, a soft smile crossing his lips as he looks away.]

I don't know, it might've just been your excuse to get me to let you cook me something. It was usually soup. I don't know how you always made it so tasty with so little, but you did.

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[He thinks about it, and he thinks he can remember a little of that. He can't remember how to cook though.]

I don't remember how.

[starspangled]

We could do that.

[Putter around in Ariadne's kitchen like a couple of old ladies.]

Or we could...

[Steve trails off, frowning. It's tough, tougher on Bucky than it is on him. Maybe if he had a checkerboard, or comics, or any of the other things they used to waste their days on.]

We could have a race.

[He smiles, joking.]

[wipedclean]

[He raises his eyebrows.]

Really?

[Like are you seriously asking that or is that a joke, because he's not really sure how to take it either way.

And besides, his whole balance is kind of thrown off with the arm. He could... probably use the practice, to be honest.]

[starspangled]

[Steve's smile fades, because maybe the idea isn't so funny to Bucky.]

Whatever you feel like doing. My schedule's clear.

[wipedclean]

[Whatever he feels like doing.

The gift of choice is overwhelming. He's not sure if he likes it. He scratches his head and bites his lip and shrugs.]

Something.

[starspangled]

[Something. Steve blinks at that, but he refuses to be discouraged.]

Tell you what, we'll make a list. That helped me.

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[He tilts his head.]

You made a list? Of what?

[starspangled]

[He gives a little laugh at that.]

Everything? Things that happened during the seventy years I was at the bottom of the ocean. Things people thought I should know. Food, movies, music...

[Steve sighs.]

It's hard to believe how much the world changed.

[wipedclean]

[When Steve laughs his eyes are fixed on it, his smile, his eyes, the way his shoulders move.

He was never aware of the world changing. Every time he woke up it was different, but he adapted, because they needed him to adapt, they needed him to complete his missions.

Not to mention he got wiped so many times it all blurs together anyway.]

Yeah.

[starspangled]

[Steve looks back at him, his smile softening.]

I guess that's one good thing about this world. A lot of us feel the same way when we first come here.

[It's not home, but once again Steve feels like it could be.]

[wipedclean]

[Except even then most of them don't have to deal with the amnesia part. He sighs.]

So what's going on my list?

[starspangled]

So far we have cooking, racing. Dancing.

[He looks at Bucky at that last one.]

You were always a hell of a dancer. The girls loved it.

[wipedclean]

[He shifts his gaze at that, looking down at his hand.]

Might have to relearn.