eachdraidh | video; Open to all

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Look, let's make something clear here.

[DEEP BREATH.]

Killing other people? Who cares. I can name about a billion people who don't even deserve to take another breath.

Killing alligators and crocodiles? Wipe them out. What are they good for other than looking stupid and starring in movies that are only awesome because of the actors.

But...

But...

Killing the King of Beasts? Not cool at all. He's probably this super awesome creature who just wants to hang out, drink a beer, and have fun but nooooooooooooo. You idiots have to run around and act like he needs to be dead.

I don't want to hear shit about how it wants to be killed. Assisted suicide is sick! Just catch him and take him to a psychologist or something. Don't enable that kind of thing. It's racist...or something along those lines.

Jesus.

[Don't mind him as he drains this bottle of alcohol. A rant like that makes his throat dry, that's all.]

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I have never heard the phrase slowly turning gay before. Forgive me, but that sounds like modern slang [which the Grail did not feel fit to give her knowledge of] and I am a knight from an older time.

Gay. You know. The old sodomy trick but a non-biblical word to make it nicer for everyone all around.

[Give her a moment to piece all that together. She manages it, but only after some heavy thought.]

Oh. You refer to men laying with men.

That's a superbly archaic way of putting it, yes. And that's something I'm not particularly interested in but my dick is currently trying to make some good counterpoints.

I am a knight from a rather archaic time. And that is also something I am not interested in as I am not male. I suggest wrangling your dick before it puts itself in a compromised position.

That's more easily said than done, especially with the hard part out of the way.

How so?

Wow, innuendos really fly past your head, don't they? Do I need to spell out something like "lets bang"?

You could be a gentleman about it. Even Gilgamesh had more grace than you. [Which is saying something.]

It's kind of hard to be graceful when ye olde English isn't goddamn sufficient!

It is not the words, but the manner in which it is spoken.

Mind if I get a little philosophical here?

You have my leave to do so.

If you're dressing as a guy, that pretty much means you literally could not give a shit about flowery words. If I tried to do some kind of Romeo act, you'd laugh me out of the house.

Nope, you'd just rather hear what someone wants as opposed to beating around the bush so you might as well drop the act.

Did I not say it was less the words and the manner of delivery? My choice to wear this attire is circumstantial, sir, and has nothing to do with anything you seem to think it does.

Though you are correct in that I prefer to hear what someone wants without diversions. There is still a grace that can be applied to that. If I had more time and a desire to bother, I would demonstrate the proper technique necessary to woo a lady to lay with you.

I don't really need lessons anyway. Girls practically fall all over me. When you're graced with amazing looks like mine, it comes naturally.

Innate talent only takes you so far. Are we done with this matter?

Nope.

Seriously, though. Can't you just capture this dude and let me have a beer with him before you decide to chop his head off or whatever you used to do in your Briton days.

I hunt with the bow and arrow. And decapitation is the favored method of the French, not the British.

If you wish to see if the White Hart will have a beer with you [as ridiculous of a notion as it is], I suggest attempting to find him yourself.

[And Saber is glad that she has managed to deflect this man away from the subject of sex.]

Oh, right, the whole cut off the index and middle finger so you shits can't fire a bow. That's how it used to roll.

[No one can call him literally stupid. Just picking the wrong time period, that's all.]

And maybe I will!

Then I bid you good hunting.

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