video; Open to all

[tacticalturtleneck]

Look, let's make something clear here.

[DEEP BREATH.]

Killing other people? Who cares. I can name about a billion people who don't even deserve to take another breath.

Killing alligators and crocodiles? Wipe them out. What are they good for other than looking stupid and starring in movies that are only awesome because of the actors.

But...

But...

Killing the King of Beasts? Not cool at all. He's probably this super awesome creature who just wants to hang out, drink a beer, and have fun but nooooooooooooo. You idiots have to run around and act like he needs to be dead.

I don't want to hear shit about how it wants to be killed. Assisted suicide is sick! Just catch him and take him to a psychologist or something. Don't enable that kind of thing. It's racist...or something along those lines.

Jesus.

[Don't mind him as he drains this bottle of alcohol. A rant like that makes his throat dry, that's all.]

Comments

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

Too many people have asked me this and I'm onto them. I've watched Back to the Future. I know what happens when people screw with the timeline!

video;

[boutant]

What if I'm the one from the future?

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

That would make me Biff.

Which is totally not awesome.

video;

[boutant]

I've heard we don't remember anything if we go home either way.

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

All the better to go absolutely wild. It'll be like getting so drunk you pass out.

video;

[boutant]

Only without the hangover. Hopefully.

video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

Hah, hangovers. I can't remember the last time I had one. It's been a nonstop, roller-coaster of drunkenness.

video;

[boutant]

That can't be healthy. And I say that as a college student.

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

Yeah, well, you probably don't even have a doctorate. I'm perfectly fine, thank you.

video;

[boutant]

No, I haven't graduated yet.

If you're sure.

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

I've been like this since I was like.....12. I'm perfectly sure, thank you!

Don't tell me you're going to test me for breast cancer next.

video;

[boutant]

[ She can hear your organs crying out from here, Archer. ]

No. [ Pause. ] That was- oddly specific.

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

Well, duh! It wasn't like I was basing that on personal experiences or anything!

Which....actually, I was.

video;

[boutant]

... I think I need to hear this story.

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

Yeaaaaaaaaah, no. We haven't had sex nearly enough times for that. Actually, we haven't at all but that can be changed.

video;

[boutant]

You have to have sex with people in order to talk to them about breast cancer?

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

It's....a bonding thing.

...actually, I just like having sex. And you're pretty hot.

video;

[boutant]

Well. Thanks.

[ She thinks. ]

I'll have to pass, though.

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

Hah, you had to think about it! Which means it'll be a yes in the future.

video;

[boutant]

Does this approach usually work on people?

[ captain america is gonna kick your ass, son ]

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

[Captain America never fought actual, real Soviets. Only fake ones. How can he even call himself a Captain of America??????]

Babe, it always works in the end. No one can resist these glutes.

video;

[boutant]

[ Well, he fought Nazis.

Though if Ariadne were truly upset enough, she'd just turn into a shadow monster. The Drabwurld has all sorts of nice tricks. ]

That must be exhausting. [ Dry. And totally baiting. ]

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

It's just experience. You can't just make these out of nothing.

video;

[boutant]

What about the people you don't want to have sex with?

Re: video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

.............

.................................

....oh, you mean guys? Yeah, I don't even know.