Video - Unseelie/Seelie (Post-dated to the 2nd)

[withbite]

[Hello there, Drabwurld. Have one slightly mussed vampire giving the locket a lazy smile. Is he calling from bed? Looks like. It may or may not be his own bed. Don't question that. Everything's covered, though, so no worries about scarring any delicate sensibilities.]

Some of you might recognize me, others might not. Either way, I'll keep this short and sweet. Since I'm back here again, I'm still going to need to fulfill those dietary requirements I mentioned last time. Which means donors.

[Not that he couldn't take what he wanted as he pleased, but he'd seen some of the things those here could do his last trip and the last thing he wanted was to find himself trying to have lunch with a witch and winding up with a few aneurysms for his trouble. Rude, witches.]

Again, only reply if you're either interested in offering or, I don't know, have a servant or whatever that's expendable. I'm not interested in playing twenty questions or show and tell.

[And that was as in depth as he planned on getting right now. People could offer or... he could get hungry enough to just take a risk and jump some hapless fairy. They were about the size of a juice box...]

Comments

[herotypical]

[ guess who doesn't care that you've asked only for legit offers? buffy summers, that's who. buffy summers doesn't care.

she sighs. ] Oh, you have got to be kidding me. [ because she can read between those lines. ]

[withbite]

Do I sound like I'm here for comedy hour?

[Don't judge, Buffy. He has a soul and he can actually heal people with his blood. Plus he was way sexier than Angel. Or Spike.]

[herotypical]

You just used the words expendable and servant in the same sentence. Publicly.

[ -- ] So yeah. I'd be happier if you were hack comic barely managing to scrounge together some laughs.

[ BECAUSE THE OTHER OPTION IS.... ]

[withbite]

The fact that they have servants here puts me in the mind that they're expendable by nature.

[He grew up in Virgina, Buffy. In the mid-1800s. What the hell do you want?]

[herotypical]

Alfred Pennyworth would like to have a word with you.

[withbite]

... Did you seriously just throw a fictional comic character at me? As an example of actual real life day to day comparisons? Really?

[Clearly the blonde wasn't just for show.]

[herotypical]

[ dude's talking about people-as-donors. as far as she's concerned, a little wishy-washy logic is by far and large not the most heinous thing on the docket. ]

Point is, the classified ad is beyond gross. [ she has issues with the whole voluntary blood bag thing. ex-boyfriend issues. ]

[withbite]

So... you're saying you'd rather I skip the whole asking for consent thing and go right to using people and then throwing them away after? Have to admit, I'm kind of surprised, Blondie.

[herotypical]

Buffy -- [ she corrects. and let's be real, she'd rather get to the part where your ass is being kicked by her. ] And what's your name?

[withbite]

Buffy? Really? Is that actually on your birth certificate or just something you're really good at?

[You're good, Buffster, but you're not TVD good.]

Damon Salvatore.

[Look, he was being good. He refrained from adding 'remember it because you'll be screaming it later'.]

[herotypical]

[ dude your last name sounds like something you'd smear on an open wound. ]

Right. Damon. I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but -- [ but it obviously isn't. ] Buffy is the name. Buffy Summers.

[withbite]

[His name sounded Italian and sexy and he knew she was just fighting her natural instincts to offer herself.]

Uh huh. Well, Busty Sunshine, now that we've gotten the introductions out of the way, I'm going to guess you're not interested.

[herotypical]

Oh. No. By all means, colour me very interested.

[ just less interested in donating and more interested in disrupting. ]

[withbite]

Look, killjoy, I'm playing nice here. You can take your moral high ground and go mix it with some red paint to throw on some rich old ladies in fur coats. Point is, if I don't feed, I go bye-bye.

[Not like he'd die, but he'd desiccate and sleep and it was a nasty process. Eww.]

You have two scenarios here; one, I have willing donors feed me, which I have now, or two, I take what I want, which I'd be happy to demonstrate. Which makes this none of your business if you don't plan on joining my fan club.

[herotypical]

[ all she needed was to hear the word: feed. ]

It's plenty of my business. Not, I hasten to point out, by my choice. We can't really help it.

[ we being slayers. ]

[withbite]

We who? We nosy Nellys? Because otherwise, you can help it. You're just choosing to get all uppity about something that doesn't concern you.

[herotypical]

Does what you are start with a V and end in an AMPIRE? Because if so, I'm afraid it concerns me a hell of a lot.

[withbite]

Oh god, are you some kind of equal right's Hunter or something? Look, Pollyanna, get over it. I was brought here against my will. I have to do certain things to survive. Or should I go out and take a consensus from the local woodland creatures about people eating Bambi and Thumper? It is what it is and I'm finding a way to avoid having to leave corpses around. Be thankful.

[herotypical]

Be thankful. Oh, aren't you just full of bullcrap. I'll give you this much -- I haven't met a pair of fangs that felt so damned entitled in a long long time.

[ perspective makes all the difference. after all, to buffy, a vampire is a mere soulless thing to she squashed by the dozen on a nightly basis. she has (personally) dusted a few thousand. and so her heart is hardened to them. if anything, she's the damn furthest a gal can get from pollyana.

she's an exterminator. just...don't tell her that. ]

Lemme guess. Your puncture-addled neck of the woods doesn't really do the Slayer thing either, huh? Sucks to those civvies. Literally.

[withbite]

Oh, we had plenty of wannabes, and the whole Hunter five thing, but really, it's just old. Let me bust out the violin for all the poor souls who've died by vampire hands. Tell me, Beach Bunny, how many vampires have you decided needed a permanent nap?

Come talk to me about right and wrong and the moral implications of what I'm doing when your hands are a little less red.

[herotypical]

Let the record show I'm not the one screeching morality here, mister. It's not about what's right or wrong.

[ she is the law in her world. in her jurisdiction. the rightness or wrongness of it never mattered -- it was always the pumping blood and the driving patrol and the need for balance in a world so often tipping upon the edge.

buffy summers might be a self-righteous general, but she would never claim her hands were unsoiled. ]

[withbite]

[Yes, well, wake up, sunshine. This wasn't her world. She was just another person pulled in from home to where she didn't want to be and told to play nicely with the other kids. Wanna bet that a certain vampire hunter doesn't get those crampy pains around this vampire?]

Right. It's just about what you think is right or wrong. So sorry. Thanks for the clarification.

[herotypical]

It's about being called. And I'm not talking about 2AM booty-and-slash-or-neck cleavage calls. I don't get to decide the prophecy, dude. I just gotta be the sucker who lets it steer her life.

[withbite]

Prophecy? Okay, wow, bouncy Betty, you really need to take a Xanex or something. Did it ever occur to you that there's a cross-worlds thing going on here? Because a) none of the Hunters from my world are female and b) there's certainly no prophecy.

So, thanks for the whole might is right speech, but I've got some soldiers that need to be deprived of a pint or two.

Call me when your hormones are at a more moderate level.

[Click.]