eachdraidh | 3rd Chassé | Video for Both Courts

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3rd Chassé | Video for Both Courts

[After the madness of the dogs, Ryan's mostly taken to spending time holed up in his room in the castle with Kelsi and her specialty-made tea, readjusting to make things more normal again.

Of course then he wakes up to a message from her.

"❤To Mr. Fred Astaire❤
I got asked to go on a quest!!!!!
It's alright, Sif is with me. We're going to deal with a manticore. I don't know what that is but I brought a few books of me along the way.
See you when I get back!

PS. I took your hat so I won't feel so lonely. Sorry!"

There were several things wrong with the equation:

1.) Kelsi ended up going on a quest.
2.) Kelsi ended up going on a quest without him.
3.) Kelsi ended up going on a quest without him and with his hat.

Then there was also the other question…who the hell is Sif?

Fine. Whatever. He can deal with being apart for a few days. Anyway he had his own business to go about. He needs to get back to his training and the longer he puts off the advice from Queen Solais, the worse off he'll be.

When the video on his locket clicks on anyone watching will notice that Ryan's sitting on a cliff in the sunken ruins. He's busy watching a small group of mermaids swimming below him and the bit of sunlight filtering through the cracks in the walls are bouncing off of his hair now that it's not sheltered by one of his hats. He's humming a song under his breath for a few moments as he continues to watch, only mildly aware he's even humming that particular song to set the mood. Maybe he was more homesick now than he initially thought. Whatever. He can't do anything about that now, he has other goals to reach.

Truth be told, he's kind of wondering if he should ask at all considering everything else that's going on right now. Yeah. He's aware of the things happening at Redgate. He's heard the broadcasts from other people, but…

…but if he doesn't ask now, how the hell is he supposed to really help in the future?]

Weird question. If you were a mermaid, what would be the most flattering thing a person could tell you?

[A beat.]

Scientific purposes only, I swear.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Not like it helps that he's fairly stubborn himself. Instead he just stares into the locket, nostrils flaring just slightly as he works to remain calm.

Center. Focus. Deep breaths. Don't explode at people.

Of course Katsa's right, but now it's a case of wanting to be right about something since he's been wrong about everything else.]

Well she's not here, so I guess nobody's explaining anything.

[...okay. Okay maybe he should just...]

...sorry. I'm kinda used to being the only person she can count on and I know this isn't your problem and that none of this really matters but I know she thinks really highly of you. She admires you a lot and I'm not saying I'm freaking out about her trying to be like you, but I'm freaking out because I've never seen her like this and--

[He just stops then.]

This sucks.

You have a fantastic routine of self-pity going on here. I'm almost impressed.

[ Katsa takes a deep breath of her own, somewhat distantly appreciating the irony in their mirrored expressions. ]

You don't know how to change with the things around you. It's frightening. But it doesn't have to be bad.

Pretty cool huh? The queen taught me a few tricks back home. [It's said with an eyeroll, but at least Ryan is a little more self-aware than Sharpay is when it comes to this sort of thing.]

If you mean I have no idea how to adapt fast enough? Probably not. My entire life...it's sort of built on structure. Wake up at the same time, shower at the same time, go to class at the same time, go to rehearsal at the same time, practice at home at the same time, go to bed at the same time. And...I'm used to having the same people around me all the time. New York was hard enough but if I didn't have Kelsi I'm not sure I'd be okay. Wait, that's wrong. I mean I know I'd be fine eventually but it's like...I don't know, don't you have people you love so much you can't even think about being without them and even when you are it's kind of a weird sense of misery?

[ Katsa shakes her head. ]

I'd not want them to cling onto me and hold me back from my own whims any more than I'd wish to do the same to them. When I'm without them, I've other things to keep me occupied until I can see them again, and that's the way I like it.

[ But she is aware that's an unusual way of looking at things, one few people understand, born out of her unique experience growing up under her uncle's thumb. She curls a leg to her chest where she's sitting and wraps the arm that's holding her locket around it, settling her chin on her knee. ]

I still miss them plenty, but there are bigger things we have to do, and it can't always be together. I don't want to be held back.

[...give him a second...and then he's going to go ahead and take the precaution to go ahead and throw on a filter.]

You think this is clinging? [It's not accusatory, just curiosity.]

I'm not saying...I mean of course you're right, people can't always be together and there are always bigger things to do but Kelsi and I have always been different. Always. And...I was alone for months before she came and now that she's here we sort of had the unspoken agreement not to separate. [Or at least he thought so. It'll be some time before Ryan realizes he's a little more co-dependent than most people when it comes to someone he really likes.]

I'm not holding her back, but I don't want her to start going off and ditching me either. Why is that so bad?

[ ...Oh yeah, private. That probably could have been a thing a little earlier, oops.

Annnnd just going to throw him a blank stare. ]

You're moping about being left behind, and you say it's fine you're not always together in the same breath you say it isn't, and if your agreement was unspoken then how do you know it was an agreement at all?

[ but look Katsa's the one who told her rich prince lover that she wasn't going to leave without him as soon as she arrived in the Drabwurld and then rode off for the rest of the month two weeks later with barely a heads up and without consulting him before she decided to do it sO the model is a little off here

she rubs her face. peopling for this long is hard ]

Why don't you want her leaving? Why is it so bad that you would have to do things on your own, too?

[The blank stare really doesn't bother him, either. He just keeps avoiding her gaze though even as he responds.

He feels really, really stupid right now. He has an immediate answer for the question though.

"Why don't you want her leaving?" "Because I don't know if or when she'll come back."

It's not so much being afraid of being alone. But it's partially that, too. And honestly he shouldn't be bugging Katsa with such trivial things anyway. She didn't need to be babysitting him or talking him through a crisis or whatever is suddenly happening here. Part of him thinks that if Zelos were still here, he could approach the other man about it. Ryan already made himself look stupid enough in front of him, but with Katsa...maybe Ryan and Kelsi both have the desire to impress her.]

It's not. [It's a bold-faced lie, sort of. It's not so bad but he still believes his reasoning's justified. Instead of elaborating though, instead of telling her the story about Sharpay and about the Wildcats and about never being alone, he just gives her what he hopes passes for an embarrassed grin. Let her think he's conceding.] When you put it that way it sounds really silly, doesn't it? [In fact, in order to sell his story he's even going as far as to mirror her stance, wrapping his arms around his knee and drawing it in toward his chest to rest his chin on top of it.]

This got completely off-topic and you're right, I'm moping. [Justified moping!] ...she'll be safe until she decides to come back. [...right?]

[ And she buys it, or at least isn't up to pushing it much further. She keeps looking at him through narrowed eyes into the locket, but it slowly eases. ]

She'll be fine. If I didn't think it, I'd have already said something.

[ There's a fine line between giving someone protection and not trusting them enough, and Katsa is finding that caring about other people means this is a really difficult distinction to make. She half wishes she didn't care, because it's much easier to worry only about herself and maybe one or two other people. ]

You'll be fine, too, I think.

[Just as planned. As she eases up, he just follows her beat for beat, keeping a light grin on his face even though he's not sure he believes her at all.]

I know I'll be fine. I'm not the one wandering around in the woods looking for some giant scorpion. Still wish she would have said something though instead of just sending me a message.

[That's neither here nor there though.] I guess all I can do is try to find company in the mermaids until then. It's not as easy as I thought it'd be. [A pause.] I'm not really great with girls when I'm actually trying to flatter them. [Accidental compliments? Sure. Telling the truth? Awesome. Trying to suck up to girls specifically? Ehhh it's hit and miss, depending. And he has a feeling the mermaids will be able to see right through him if he's not careful.]

[ a shrug. ] Maybe that's just something you're going to have to expect or get used to happening from now on. It's up to the two of you.

[ she wrinkles her nose at him ]

Don't ask me. They might be finding your behavior wholly unnatural and unappealing. Imagine you're talking to Kelsi?

Maybe. I just didn't think I'd have to. [But Katsa's right.] You make this whole thing look so easy. I don't get it.

[But then there's the blankest of blank stares…and he finally settles on a very awkward sort of grin, clearly amused and confused about something.]

I doubt it. Most people like me, but what good would it do to pretend they're Kelsi? That might make it worse.

[ she almost smiles ] It's simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

And I don't know what mermaids would like or not. Pretend they're someone. Go the other way and pretend they're your enemy and get a practical lesson out of it.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess I could do that, too. And if that doesn't work then I'll find a new teacher. [He tilts his head thoughtfully, unsure if he should follow the path of asking how to be less clingy, or follow the path of "okay in some cases the enemy is someone I still like so."

Instead--]

…uh. Katsa? [Considering the things Kelsi's told him about Katsa, this conversation may get kinda weird.] You know Kelsi and I are just friends right?

[ ... oh boy. ]

I didn't imagine you wouldn't be friends, considering...

[ give her a minute

give

her

a ]

.....Aren't the two of you lovers?

[…well. Truthfully, he should have expected this and he might be a little mad at Kelsi still for going and pulling a Sharpay on him by ditching him, but he can still do a little investigative work.

However he can't stop himself from just giving her a mildly perplexed look.]

No. Nooo, no no. I mean don't get me wrong, Kelsi's the love of my life and I took her to our senior prom and I hang out in her bedroom a lot and everything, but she's…definitely not what I'm looking for lover-wise.

[...and suddenly Ryan's starting to question the nature of his relationship with Kelsi and what other people might assume. Huh. He can't really blame her for assuming so though; this isn't East where people knew the pair of them quite well. On the other hand, at least Katsa's apparently clueless of Kelsi's girl-crush on her. Might need to talk to her about that.]

Sorry if we totally misled you.

How do you not—

[ katsa groans and drops her head to her knee so she's no longer looking into her locket. THIS IS GETTING ABSURD WHY CAN SHE NEVER TELL WHAT ANYONE IS ACTUALLY FEELING ABOUT ANYONE ]

Is this something you usually have to clarify?

[Poor Katsa. He's still watching her and he's realizing just how many worlds out there really, really don't ever have to deal with trivial bullshit.]

Sometimes, but the benefit of our world is that most people know my sister and I share several pairs of jeans and spend more time than normal dedicated to musical theatre. [He rolls his eyes skywards. Those are very shitty qualifiers, but he's heard enough rumors about himself to pull out the most vague, basic ones.] Kelsi's…Kelsi. She's sweet and adorable and she'd be a great girlfriend for anybody but I wouldn't appreciate her the way she deserves.

If it helps I don't think you're the only one to think that about us. [He has a suspicion that Lancelot thinks the same thing, too.]

[ she doesn't understand what he means by jeans and musical theatre either so she's just... going to.... ignore it....... and lift her head and roll her eyes ]

At least that's more self-awareness than I suppose most people could ask for. [ including herself. whoops, still embarrassing. katsa chews on her lower lip before deciding to ask her next question. ]

If she's the love of your life, why isn't she what you're looking for in a lover? You've never planned to marry her?

[ not that katsa cares whether anyone marries anyone, but she's just downright curious, now ]

You'd be amazed how self-aware I can be. [And also how modest, apparently. And self-centered. And oblivious. Ryan is sometimes his own problem.

The question's hard to answer, really, and he just sort of shrugs in return.]

…maybe if we can't find anybody to be with we'll end up marrying each other, but no. I've never planned on it. She's kinda like Mary Poppins. Wait you won't know who that is… Um. There's a story where I'm from about this British nanny who's basically magical but the tagline's always "Mary Poppins: practically perfect in every way." That's Kelsi. She doesn't see it most of the time but she's literally the best person somebody could be with and…the problem is that there's one giant flaw with Kelsi that I can't get past. That's why we're not dating.

...You know there's no need for either of you to marry anyone.

[ it's not her business to ask it's not her business to ask it's not her business to ]

What flaw?

No, of course not. I'd just rather not end up alone for the rest of my life, you know?

[…thus…the root of the problem. He's quiet again before he shrugs, attempting to make this as casual as possible.]

She's a girl. Kinda can't really change that about her.

Oh. No, I suppose there's nothing either of you can do about that.

[ she leans back. that answers most of the confusion. ]

Unmarried doesn't have to mean alone, either. I won't ever marry.

Yeah. [There's also the part where Kelsi won't date Ryan because he's a boy but he's not going to mention that. Just thank god Katsa's just rolling with it. It gets a little easier every time he mentions it to somebody, at least, but nothing's easier than just letting people draw their own assumptions.] I mean I wouldn't want to change that about her anyway. I like her as a girl, just…not in a lover sense.

Why not? I mean if you don't mind me asking. [Though it makes sense. Katsa's strong. Katsa doesn't need anybody, right? And maybe he's just carrying this conversation because he's snooping and he genuinely likes talking to her, wants to learn more about her.]

That's straightforward enough. [ she shrugs ] I've no desire to hand my freedom over to anyone—to be expected to manage the house and servants and bear children, or to make promises about a future I can't see. Even if I wanted any of those things, I wouldn't want to hang onto anyone and prevent them from loving anyone else, either. Mostly I belong only to myself, and that's how it'll always be; though I still have others.

[That makes sense and all it does is further prove that Katsa is, in fact, one of the coolest people he's met. He wants to be independent like that, but old habits are hard to break and when you've been pretty co-dependent for most of your life... Nevertheless it makes sense. Ryan's from a world where he's learned that women shouldn't be expected to manage the house and servants (and anyway isn't that what servants are for?)

Whatever.]

I guess I never really saw it as handing over my freedom so much as it is sharing it. You know, sharing the ability to go anywhere and do anything and work together to make life better. ...but unless things change back home I can't exactly do that unless I marry a girl. I mean I can but it's not considered legal?

Not that that matters, that's not the point.

[Hold it.] Katsa are you alone here? Have I ever asked you that?

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