eachdraidh | 001 👑 Video 👑 Open to both courts

[Joffrey only recently figured out how to get this thing working. It was all a bit baffling, really, for someone who was used to having to hand-write letters and potentially wait weeks for a response depending on where it was going.]

Firstly, for those who don't know me, I am Joffrey of the Houses Baratheon and Lannister, the First of his Name, King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm. If that’s too much for you to remember, ‘Your Grace’ will do.

[Screeching and clawing can be heard from behind a nearby door.]

I've got one of those things trapped in there causing quite a fuss.

[He holds up his sword, Widow's Wail, a rather ornate sword with black and red ripples throughout the blade.]

I think it's time for a demonstration of what Valyrian Steel is capable of.

[He opens the door and takes a swing at the enraged imp, cleaving it nearly in half. It falls to the floor with a thud. Joffrey is usually quite the coward, but he seems to be pretty confident when holding Widow's Wail, placing a lot of faith in that sword and its capabilities.]

You see? It's no trouble at all. If anyone - anyone of the Unseelie court, at least - wants to go hunting for more, I'm ready, as long as you don't slow me down.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I did that with a poker an hour ago.

[Or more accurately, she baseball'd it across a room and didn't see it reemerge. But the moment she speaks up, she's rather regretting interacting with a dude who thought it necessary to cut a trapped imp in half for everyone to see.]

You should have shown everyone, then. It would have been good amusement.

Like yours was?

[Definitely sounding chiding there, in that ironic disappointed mother way.]

Yes, exactly.

[And Joffrey isn't the master of picking up on insincerity.]

[She looks baffled for a second. Then she decides he's just a stupid boy like most of them and needs bluntness. There are enough like him on the Lake, who laugh about setting cats' tails afire or drowning rats.]

It was a cruel thing to do, it didn't make you look strong or clever, and you've upset people who have a lot more than good steel on their side. I think you're a petty little boy with too many toys. Your guardian ought to take away that sword and give you a broom instead.

Mother would never do such a thing. She'd bring her wrath down upon you for even suggesting it!

Is that supposed to scare me? Calling for your ma? Chopping up a trapped little imp and threatening me with your mother doesn't make you look at all kingly, you know.

Everything I do is kingly because I'm the king. [Flawless logic.] It's not very lady-like to scold a king.

I'm not a lady. I'm a woman, and women scold children all the time, theirs or others.

[Still, she's pretty sure that first sentence was a joke and she's trying not to smile. It was a joke, right?]

I'm not a child, I'm a king. My own mother wouldn't even scold me like that.

[She tilts her head, suddenly weirdly curious about all the things she's never had a chance to ask any kings about before. It's not exactly the point of his comment, but it's still a question, and as much fun as it is to scold a king, she's feeling weirdly guilty that "scolding" has turned into "picking on."]

I thought queens don't have to raise their own children. Don't they have servants to do it for them?

001 👑 Video 👑 Open to both courts

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