[Text; Open] -> [Audio; Seelie] Backdated to the 3rd

[asafp]

Fuck me.

[That's it that's the post.

If you're not a member of the Seelie court, that is. After another moment -- or a few -- the audio and the lock switch on.]

[Audio; Seelie-locked]

[The following is the sound of a Glaswegian who is both exhausted and quietly trying to sustain his brittle grasp on reality.]

Right, this message ought to only be goin' out to members of the, ah, Seelie Court. Hoping there's a friendly soul somewhere in the area of Daonna who can help a poor traveler in gettin' to the castle. Supposedly those fluttery lights were meant to drop me off at it, but I guess they got lost somewhere on the Yellow Brick Fucking Road.

Bargained my way into a room at the inn temporarily, but I don't wanna find out how the pig man's gonna make me pay once I run out of currency. I hear one of their orgasms lasts for half an hour.

[All right, Malc, reign it in for a minute. You've got no clout here, and you want these people to want to help you out, right?

Right.]

Any assistance would be [and here he is trying really hard to be cordial and professional:] greatly appreciated.

Comments

text.

[sokkcasm]

[ sokka has mostly learned how to work this weird locket thing by now, and at least the text option is easy enough since you just talk to it and it knows what you're saying. which is ... actually kind of cool, except for the fact that he has no idea how that actually works. he just knows that it does. he'll have to figure out the rest later. ]

[ for now, he's much more concerned with this strange message because uh ... what??? look, he's from, like, some kind of medievalish era in the eastern part of the world, he has no idea what that word means. ]

what is a fuck and why do you want me to do it to you
who are you???

text.

[asafp]

Never mind about it, kid. [Because if he doesn't know, he has to be a kid, yeah?] Go back to your Legos, or whatever it is they've got here.

text.

[sokkcasm]

[ yeah, still not helping. ]

right... legos...
you mind telling me what THAT is?

text.

[asafp]

Yeah, actually I do mind. I'm not your dictionary on demand. Go ask your mum.

text.

[sokkcasm]

wow i'd love to if she were still alive

text.

[atoned]

[ omg why did we have to bring dead mums into this. ]

[ because zuko's locket always fucks up on him, this ends up as a text instead of an offline awkward pat on the shoulder. honestly, he's kind of just cringing right now. ]

Soccer, he's just being a shuck. Don't listen to him.

And you don't want to fuck him, either. He's not your type.

[ even though zuko's not the type to use fuck as a curse, he's educated enough to know what it means in a smooth operator context. ]

not here.

[asafp]

[Rule One of PR and, by extension, Life -- you don't touch dead family members. Literally or figuratively. Malcolm might be rattled and exhausted, but continuing to engage at this point would be like kicking a small animal. He's gonna hang back and let Friendus Interruptus take the lead on this.]