[ The thing that frightens Lancelot most, honestly, is he believes that partially. He believes that Merlin would do anything and everything for Arthur, not for his own gain. The simple fact of it is that he cannot fathom the gain from this action. He flinches slightly again as she hits a particularly sore patch, keeps his eyes down and swallows. ]

I struggle to see his gain in it, myself, but you would know better than I. I was not there to witness it, and I will not argue that which I cannot understand.