[He hears that tone and he'd be offended if he didn't agree that Wonderland was full of weird and probably did need looking after]

Yeah, I'm afraid you're a bit late for being my hero. 'bout 27 years give or take a few.

[There aren't too many calendars in the Enchanted Forest]

Really? Seems like love gives folks nothin' but a lot of trouble. Trouble with queens, sorcerers, genies, oh yeah, and doctors. Most trouble I had 'til me Alice showed up was a few wanted posters.