eachdraidh | fourth arrow → VIDEO → both courts

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fourth arrow → VIDEO → both courts

[Merida appears to be outside the manor when her locket flips open, brushing out some of the feathers in Angus' wings since he doesn't seem to know quite how to preen them himself just yet. She's wrapped up for the weather, a warm-looking cloak draped over her shoulders and fur trimmed dress, held together at her breast by a hand carved cloak clasp. She tugs the cloak around her a little more, depositing feathers into a bucket before she turns her attention to the locket.]

When I first got here, I was already familiar with th' terms Seelie an' Unseelie, an' Drabbish is close tae th' language of my people. Seelie means 'lucky' or 'blessed', while Unseelie means 'misfortunate' or 'unholy'. [She shakes her head.] I don't believe there's a difference, personally. In all th' stories I was told as a wee lass, Seelie were known tae tell just as many lies as Unseelie. Th' only difference was, Unseelie were more honest, believe it or not, while th' Seelie's words were like roses. Pretty, but not without their thorns.

[tl;dr - all fae were assholes.]

There's many a tale of both of them lurin' men from their path, or kidnappin' children in exchange for their own young, that sort of thing. There was a man who came into DunBroch claimin' he'd been down a sìth for th' last few hundred years. We even have a demon bear who used tae be a prince that roams th' lands.

[She brushes her hands off, then slips them further into the sleeves of her dress as Angus leans his head down towards his water trough, ear flicking as his wings fold back properly into place now that they've been groomed. Merida pats his neck, then tilts her head as she sits down on a bench in his stall, not caring about the hay or snow littering it. There's two saddlebags near her, both appearing to be carrying as much as she needs. Leaning back against a wall of the stable, she fidgets with her cloak clasp as Angus leans over the stall, nuzzling at another horse.]

I suppose what I'm tryin' tae say is, people are more alike than they care to admit, even those who are too prideful tae say so. [She gives a small sigh, lips twisting into a wry smile as her eyes shine with a bit of guilt.] I'm...a lot more like my mother than I'd ever have thought before I arrived. She'd be Seelie if she were here.

[Merida shakes her head, pushing her hair out from her cloak, the material falling down around her shoulders.]

I'd also like tae apologize tae those of you who I suggested come tae th' manor or those I was goin' tae do things with, but I'll be unavailable. I have some travelin' tae do.

[a.k.a she's getting the hell out of dodge. The redhead opens her mouth to say something else but she's interrupted when one of Angus' wings flick over her head, fluffing her hair up over her head and causing her to fumble and drop the locket, cutting the feed on her next cry.]

Angus!

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[Hush, no it's not. Though the suggestion of a promise does make her smile even as she raises an eyebrow.]

Oh? You think ye can say no to that precious face of his, do you?

Sure...I....err...

[Diarmuid looks down from the locket for a moment and mutters something that isn't picked up under his breath.]

Can you say no to Angus' face?

I'll get back to you on that.

[A relieved look crosses his face.]

And I will get back to you about Oscar. In the meantime...you said you were going on a trip?

[Topic change, go!]

[And just like that, she switches to private.]

Aye. I'm not fightin' in th' upcomin' battle.

[The relieved look on his face grows stronger.]

Thank all above and below... I am going to try to avoid fighting too, but it will be much harder for me because of my status as a Golden Cadre member. I hope that by focusing on training myself and others, I will be able to avoid actually going into battle right now.

[And if Diarmuid can convince others to limit the bloodshed as much as they can while he is training them, then even better.]

[She smiles softly.]

Truthfully I was warned about it an' have been preparin' to leave for a few days now but I still feel guilty.

[For knowing, for leaving. Merida nibbles her bottom lip.]

Edited 2015-01-08 02:23 (UTC)

[An understanding look crosses his face.]

You shouldn't feel guilty. You aren't doing anything wrong. If it helps, you may wish to think about what you are doing this way. Going into a battle when you are so conflicted is a dangerous thing. Your inner conflict will slow your actions and muddy your decisions. This may put you and those who you are fighting with into danger. Wouldn't you feel worse if someone was hurt or killed because you were not committed to the battle?

[As always, Diarmuid is a godsend when it comes to advice, even when she doesn't ask for it. Merida's expression changes before her lips quirk into a small smile.]

Aye, I would. I wouldn't be able to fight you or anyone else I've made friends with here, should they decide to take up arms. I've helped m'lady make preparations as best as I can but that will be all I do, since th' manor lies before th' Caer. [Blue eyes close and she shakes her head.] If I leave it's because I don't feel adequate enough to be able to fight.

Nor would I wish to fight you, but those who might be with me? Them I cannot speak for and who know what might happen if you and I were to meet. We would hesitate while they might not. The same could be true for those who come with you. No, it is better to avoid the battle until you are sure you wish to fight it deep down. Besides, training and helping to fortify or prepare places is a part of battle too. Without that support, there is no way a battle can be won.

[Diarmuid is glad she understands what he is saying, though there is one thing he must correct.]

'Adequate' is not the word I would use. There is not inadequate about you. 'Committed' is a better word, I believe.

[No, Merida thinks to herself, shaking her head just a little. Inadequate was a good summary of how she'd been feeling since the fear dogs. She could have trained and trained all she wanted last month even with the hunt on, and she'd still feel like she wasn't good enough to stand against the blades of Seelie soldiers. Even what little magic she'd begun to learn was useless if they were going to raze through La Llorona.]

I don't think I'll ever be committed as some others are.

[If at all. She'd told Cu last month that he wouldn't see her in Morla's troops.]

Edited 2015-01-08 05:02 (UTC)

Merida? What is it?

[He can't help but raise an eyebrow at that head shake. It is obvious something is going through her mind, something she isn't sharing and something that weighs heavily on her.]

You realize that is all right, right? Not everyone knows where they should be and what they are willing to fight for at the same time. Rushing that decision will only lead you to making choices you will eventually regret. For now, do what you have to. Eventually, I promise you, you will know exactly what you want to commit to.

I know. I tried to fight when I first got here, but I couldn't. I couldn't agree with pullin' th' moon down from th' skies. I went to guard it, but I was thinkin' th' whole time how to return it. An' even though I was granted a new sword after th' dogs, I don't...I can't raise it.

[Even as she says that, she draws her hands up to wrap her fingers in her cloak, feeling a cold breeze shift through the air.]

An' now I can't even stop soldiers that want to raze th' forest around my home.

[Diarmuid frowns when he sees her gesture. Not because of her words, but because he's not there to be able to give her a comforting hug.]

Listen to me, Merida. We all fight in our own ways and sometimes it takes a while to find that way. Don't give up on yourself so quickly. Take this time and think about what you really want to fight for, but don't think just in terms of raising a sword and taking a life. What are those things you would spy on others for? What messages might you run? What words might you speak? What traps might you lay? Whose wounds would you mend?

Fighting with sword and shield is not the only way. In fact, that kind of fighting is only a small part of winning the actual war. Don't limit yourself just because they say that is what you should do. And just as importantly?

[He gives her a pleading look.]

Trust those around you. Trust Lady Aridane to take care of your home now that you have helped her prepare. It is her home too and she will let no harm come to it.

[Had this been three months ago, back when she'd first arrived, she would have argued that no, she wanted to fight. Merida would have been stubborn and planted her foot down and stayed to defend the manor and the forest, regardless of what anyone else thought. But here? She listens, pursing her lips together as he speaks. Inhale, exhale.]

I trust her. [Indisputably.] I trust in my friends more than I trust th' monarchs.

[She's not sure if she's ever said that directly to him. Merida cups her hands together with a small sigh, trying to warm them now that she's stopped grooming Angus.]

I thought for sure that fightin' with sword an' arrow was what I wanted to do, more than sit prettily in a throne at my future husband's side.

Edited 2015-01-08 19:11 (UTC)

[Diarmuid doesn't answer her right away. He is glad to see her thinking so hard about things and taking what he has said to heart. There is no reason to rush her. In fact, that is the last thing he wants to do. However, there is one point that he wants to make sure she doesn't take too far.]

Don't limit yourself, Merida. There are more than two routes you can take. It's not just fighting or sitting quietly at someone's side. Your mind is as sharp a sword as any other. I have seen you think things through and find a solution like an arrow finding its mark.

[He gives her an approving and supportive look.]

After I arrived here, I went to speak with the High-King and High-Queen. My intention was to swear myself to them because it is what I do. When I am called to serve, I serve. However, the High-Queen stopped me. She told me that I should not let anyone take my freedom from me and that included her. Freedom includes freedom to choose and to trust. That freedom is yours just as much as mine. You have made that choice. Never regret it and use that as your focus to find your way.

[I want my freedom. She'd said that the night that her mother had announced the lords were bringing their sons as suitors, to Angus but she'd said it. Merida hadn't known what she'd meant by that exactly, but it had been the closest thing she could think of to describe her desires. Freedom to choose and to trust sounded close to it though. The look makes her smile, ducking her head a bit as she went over what he said.]

I've never had this much freedom before, myself. [Her lips quirked slightly.] I'm makin' it my choice to travel with a Seelie, to leave th' fightin' to Lady Ariadne an' th' others. Nobody is tellin' me to fight, an' for th' first time in th' last few days I don't feel like I'm runnin' off. I can do things that can help without gettin' involved in th' fightin'.

That is exactly right.

[A look that can only be called proud fills his eyes.]

Hold onto how that feels and don't let anyone take it from you. It can be scary, believe me. I am not used to having this much freedom either, and I will probably make mistakes with it, but that is how we all learn. We make mistakes and then we try again.

I look forward to seeing what you do with your freedom...

[She's reminded of her father by that look in his eyes, and her heart aches in her chest, if not just for a moment. Merida gives him a smile, tilting her head.]

As will I you. I can't thank you enough for every time we speak.

You don't need to thank me, though I do appreciate it. You are so kind, bright, and full of life. I hate seeing you troubled.

[That and she reminds him of his daughter enough it hurts sometimes. Diarmuid can't help but think that she and Druime would be best friends if they ever met.]

[Her cheeks colour, then shakes her head.]

I want to, at the very least. [Not that she believes she's any of those, but still.] I hope this month treats you well, Diarmuid.

I hope the same for you, Merida. Have a safe trip.

[He smiles warmly at her.]

Make sure you contact me if you need anything, all right? I will be there to help just as soon as I can.

[She returned the smile just as warmly.]

I will, thank you.

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